Tuesday, September 14, 2010

A New Beginning...


Wow! its been a while since my last blog.... I hope everyone is well! :-p

So much has changed in the last few months for me, I've been blessed with a new, full-time job, a new Appartment in Erskineville, numerous new friends & a loving partner....

Over the last 12 months of living in Sydney - it has been challenging, confronting & rewarding.

I want to take some time to explain a few things...

* I steped down from Ministry due to personal issues/struggles

* I was suffering emotionally/physically

* When i turned to Church leaders for help - i received negativity, criticism, judgement & ignornace - this just led to me totally distancing myself from all Church involvement - I needed a 'time-out' from the whole thing.

I now only have limited contact with people back home - this is due to the awkwardness that unfortunately has come from seeking help from certain people who knew little about how to respond to me & my disclosure of homosexual feelings, instead they responded in fear, anger & ignorance - trying to assist me in the limited way they best knew how, I no longer hold any regrets from my experiences with these people & have totally forgiven them - as I believe they tried to help me the best way they knew of & I also believe what we go through develops character, challenges our mind-sets & finally matures us.

I have come to the realisation that God's GRACE, MERCY & LOVE is totally un-conditional,
un-merited & un-desserved & that nothing we do in life can seperate us from His love, & in our darkest hour God's love pierces through & gives us hope.

Through everything, God has shown me that despite the Church's apparent short comings, failures & appearance of a lack of understanding concerning people & the things they go through, that he is still able to reach into our current situations & circumstances & show us a much better way to deal with things....

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,  neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8: 38-39 (NLT)

Nothing we do in life is able to cause us to be seperated from God's Love - even when we think we have gone so far in the opposite direction away from His love, He will constantly pursue our hearts with His grace & goodness & mercy.

Through this whole experience God has been present with me despite 'me' getting in the way constantly.

I have met numerous different people who have gone through similar experinces through Church life, this is when I realised I wasn't alone at all in my experiences, this has become a reality to me as i have started attending an organisation called 'Freedom 2 [b]' which is a registered charity/support network for people from Pentecostal/Charismatic/Evangelical church backgrounds.

Through this organisation I have met wonderful people who love God with everything they have, I have also met Anthony Venn-Brown (Freedom 2[b] Co-Founder) & Benjamin Gresham (Freedom 2 [b] Youth Co-Ordinator - Sydney) these are two people who i highly respect, for the experiences they have come out of & for what they have contributed to me while I have been living in Sydney.

**Benjamin Gresham is also my better other 1/2 - I love & appreciate everything he does & for his passion for God - he keeps me on the straight & narrow** :-P

In writting this I only ever wanted to be transparent in my thinking, reasoning, the experiences I have gone through, & to be honest about myself & where I am currently at - I refuse to live a lie anymore.

I would like to say "Sorry" to anyone that has been affected by my choices during this time, I appologise sincerely for any pain, anger, confusion that I may of caused you. Sorry. This was never my intention.
If you read this & have any questions, send me an email, I will reply back asap. Thanks

Well, you briefly know what has been happening in the last 12 months, things are constantly changing & developing... in the next few weeks there will be regular updates about things im looking at doing here in Sydney & just general info about doing 'life'.

"The enemy we fight is not individuals, political parties or denominations - the enemy is ignorance" - Anthony Venn-Brown

Jesus Is Lord

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