Friday, October 22, 2010

The Power Of YOUR Testimony: GayChristianOnline

Hey All....

**This Story is submitted by a new friend over in the USA, His story is amazing to read & a great encouragement to us all. Check out his website aswell!.**

I grew up in a Christian home in Kansas attending an Assemblies of God church.  I knew something was different about me in my teen years.  I wasn’t like the other guys.  I knew this difference was something bad and something I should hide, so I repressed these same-sex feelings for many years.

My charismatic upbringing always encouraged me to have faith, pray, and seek God’s help! I prayed for God to change me.  I believe in the supernatural power of God. I have miraculously experienced God’s healing of my back in a car accident, and so I even had tremendous faith that God could even change me from being gay to being heterosexual. 

While attending the University of Kansas, I remember going to the library seeking to find answers about myself.  I read books on homosexuality.  I enjoyed taking many classes in psychology.  However, my charismatic faith upbringing always encouraged me to come to God when I needed help. In my heart, I believed that what I was experiencing as same-sex attractions was wrong, and so for many years I prayed, fasted and did everything I could to bring me closer to God. I believed that I would experience my miracle by drawing close to God.

This desire for change was so great in that it was a part of the reason why I chose to transfer my studies to Central Bible College with the Assemblies of God. I’m thankful for my time there. I remember getting my close friends in the dorm to wake up at 5 a.m. every morning to pray for one hour and begin our day seeking God. The bubble like Christian environment was a safe place to draw near to God; however, I recognized that everyone around me disapproved of homosexuality. So I kept this part of my life hidden from everyone around me.  I continued to seek God with all my heart, soul, and mind!

I became involved in ministry, and so I continued graduate studies at the Assemblies of God Theological Seminary and Fuller Theological Seminary. I became involved working in full-time ministry for several years. During that time, I continued to feel that I could just repress my sexuality and pour myself into God and full-time service.

Prayer, fasting, bible college, seminary, and full-time ministry in American Chinese churches and Christian organizations in the U.S., never changed my same-sex attractions.  I had a hard time to reconcile my faith and sexuality together, so I ended up resigning from full-time ministry.  I ended up taking a teaching position overseas in Taiwan since I always had a heart for Asia.

Over the next 5 years, I found it extremely hard coming to terms with who I was as a gay man and also believing the church that I couldn’t be in a relationship with God because I was gay. My life kind of spiraled into some very destructive patterns until I was brought back to the U.S.

Kind of hitting rock bottom spiritually and emotionally, the Holy Spirit moved upon me and powerfully made me aware of how much He loved me...all of me...including the fact that I am gay.  I came across a video of Rev. Ed Bacon saying the words, “Being gay is a gift from God.” For the first time in a very long time, I felt God’s presence in and all around me. I knew God loved all of me...including me being gay. God’s love transformed my life that night.

Those events brought me back to an all inclusive loving church.  I’m so grateful for God and His wonderful grace in rescuing me and revealing His great love for me!  I’m also thankful for God blessing me with a wonderful godly partner!

I’ve recently came out to my parents.  I’m thankful that their immediate response was that they love me! It’s difficult for my parents to understand, but I am praying for them.

My prayer everyday is no longer, “God I don’t want to be gay.”  But now I’ve learned to love myself and I recognize my calling is to truly love others.


Jesus Is Lord

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